Monday, December 22, 2008

A Laundry List of Self-doubt

I seem to have neglected this whole aspect of ‘not working’ in this blog. I don’t want to imply that it is always roses.

On some days, I feel something resembling envy towards those who have a job to go to regularly. This is not as bizarre as it sounds because I loved my job when I left. (In part, I left because I didn’t want my job to become all-consuming.)

Then there is always a back-of-the-mind doubt about whether my savings will suffice. Many people know and understand this fear. In my case it is a carryover from my working days and over time I have learned to relegate it to the back.

Also, not working and sitting at home seems way too hedonistic. If other people are able to take care of kids, their homes, their other commitments and put in a full day’s work, why can’t I merely go to work?

Finally, there is the fear that not going to work is just a poorly thought out half-baked idea.

Fortunately for me, these doubts don’t all assault me at once. I am guessing that thoughts such as these are to be expected, especially for one who spends time alone. I am aware of their existence, but they haven’t impacted me in any adverse way that I know of.

3 comments:

Arvind said...

Ram,

I hope you are diversified, aside from SP500. Buy a flat in India, that might be a good form of diversification and utility as well.

Arvind

Retired Syd said...

I'm so glad to hear someone say this. Unlike you, I was sick of my job, though, so am very happy not to be there.

However, I can relate to you feeling resembling envy towards those that are working. I get that envy when watching medical dramas (of all things--I was NOT in the medical field). When I watch House or Gray's Anatomy I think "gosh, wouldn't it be wonderful to have a job you're SO into!

So for me, it is jealousy of someone LOVING their job.

Just found your blog and am eagerly ready to go explore all your earlier posts. I love having someone else's retirement brain to look inside!

Ram said...

@Arvind: At the moment, SP500 is it for me. (I know it is not sufficient.) Yes, maybe I will become a home-owner in 2009. Have to see.

@Syd: Likewise. I have been catching up on your old posts. (Many are eerily close to my thinking.)