Refusing help can upset acquaintances

This is something that I learned from experience.

Once people learned that I wasn’t working, I got a number of emails from friends, colleagues and even from minor acquaintances offering to help me find another job. A full time job is such an integral part of who we are that for many it is unthinkable that someone may not want one.

They would often ask for a copy of my resume to pass along, and also suggest job openings that they felt I would be suitable for. (This reminded me of matchmakers who are pressuring their single friends to pair up.)

However, my plan was to try out a lot of other things that I had been unable to pursue when working full time. So I thanked these friends, but I didn’t send them my resume.
Because I didn't respond in the way they expected me to, the phone calls and the emails stopped. I quickly realized that I had unintentionally offended many of these people who had only wanted to help me.

Lesson: So here’s something to keep in mind when you drop out of work. Prepare a well formulated response (just 2 or 3 lines) to send back to those who offer to send your resume around. In your response be extremely tactful, acknowledge and express your appreciation of their desire to help and ask for time rather than refusing the help outright. This is how I would do it, knowing what I know now.

There is also something very positive that I noticed as this unfolded: I was very heartened by the fact that people have such an innate desire to help others.

How Bill Gates is trying to change the world -- TED Talks 2009

We live in wonderful times. This year's TED conference just ended. It would have cost $6000 to attend, if our application was even accepted. But thanks to the Web, we get to listen and watch fantastic presentations by the best and the brightest for free.

TED stands for Technology, Entertainment and Design. They hold an annual conference (invitation-only) where the absolute best in these three fields get to present, mingle and discuss ideas. Al Gore presented in 2006. The recent conferences have focused on collectively solving some of the world's toughest problems.

I started to pay more attention to TED ever since our local PBS channel started broadcasting some of the TED presentations and slide shows. They are unfailingly thought-provoking. A friend, Kalyan, swears by their podcasts.

I recently learned that many people start their workday by watching one TED video as a way to stay inspired.

I have included below Bill Gates' presentation this year. Don't miss the bit he does with the mosquitoes. Plus, it is gratifying to see data about the impact that great teachers can have on a whole class. (Makes me wonder if I ever took the time to thank my teachers.)

Check this out.



You can find many more TED videos here.

Early Retirement – So are you bored?

“Do you get bored?” In various gatherings, I hear people ask Rupal some variation of that question. They are asking her because it’s been close to one year of not working for her.

The simple answer is no. I watch her verbal gyrations as she gives diplomatic answers. Not bored, she tells them because there is lots to do, things to take care of, new things to research.

In the seven months that I haven’t gone to work there has not been a single day that I’ve had problems spending time. No matter how much free time one has there are books, movies, podcasts, blogs and new and interesting websites competing for that time.

In a recent issue of Kiplinger’s finance magazine, I read the last editorial by Fred Frailey just prior to his retirement. He writes of his predecessor telling him that “there will come a morning when you'll wake up and realize that every day is a Saturday."

Yes, there are many reasons to go back to work after dabbling with retirement. Financial reasons, or maybe one’s career ambitions resurfaces, or one’s feeling of self-worth is tied to how productive one is in society. These are all good reasons but boredom shouldn’t be one of them.

New Yorkers, never ones to hold back are fond of saying about their beloved city. "If you are in New York City and you are bored, it's your own fault."

That exact sentiment, I suspect, applies to early retirement.

There is no escaping the daily structure

This one is tough for me to admit. After all these years of dreaming about and rebelling against the daily structure that going to work imposed on me, I now find that I need a daily structure.

Yes it is wonderful not to have any schedule whatsoever. It is fun to while away time alternating between reading, browsing and eating. But after a good amount of those, I am left with this feeling of dissatisfaction.

What I am also realizing is that very quickly, a structure gets imposed. One minor example: I am a fan of the TV quiz show Jeopardy! It airs at 3.30pm in my area. After a few days of regular viewing, I now find that I have pre-Jeopardy and post-Jeopardy things that I do. Even viewing a 30 minute show lends a bit of structure to my day.

I know that it would be a lot cooler to tell everyone that I have no schedule whatsoever. But the fact is that without at least a few daily rituals, I am left a little disoriented, feeling that I am not in control. So I actually seek some regularity and structure in my days.

There is no escaping the circadian rhythm, I suppose.

Retired CEO, yet very productive

Rupal asked me to read this article in Fortune magazine. There's a CEO who is worthy of being a role model for everyone. If people can attempt such things with their time, then early retirement becomes more than justified.

The article's last thought was on target.

Second, as we leave the season of giving and enter a challenging new year, we're reminded that the most valuable thing each of us has to give isn't money. Barnevik has given about $17 million to Hand in Hand, but that isn't what has made it so effective. For him and for the rest of us, the most serious gift - arguably the only serious one - is our knowledge, abilities, and passions.

Read the full article here.

Retirement inspiration from Steve Jobs?

Steve Jobs : "The only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it."

The “work” that Jobs refers to may or may not be our day jobs. One reason to ‘retire’ is so that we can seek whatever it is that we were meant for.

There are 10 more of these ‘insights’ from Steve Jobs in Rajesh Shetty’s ever-upbeat blog, Life Beyond Code.

A friend of mine pointed out that the second one in that list, the one about Socrates, was rather odd. Does anyone know the story behind Steve Job’s fascination with Socrates?

Be sure to check it out the post.

50 Ways to Improve Your Life In 2009 - US News

My wife showed me this list of '50 Ways to Improve Your Life in 2009' in the paper version of the U.S News and World Report magazine. I can’t imagine anyone reading this list and not finding at least 5 things to consider doing in 2009.

In my case the following were intriguing or relevant:

1. Watch TV online
2. Keeping a ‘clothes-hanger’ journal
3. Use glass to store food
4. the concept of hyper-miling
5. Starting a Nonprofit

Do check it out.